BREAKING NEWS: 𝑨𝑩𝑪 picks up Tucker Carlson with a contract and a big salary, replacing The Jimmy Kimmel Show .

In a twist nobody saw coming—and yet somehow everyone saw coming—ABC has decided to part ways with late-night comedy mainstay Jimmy Kimmel and hand the reins to none other than Tucker Carlson.

Yes, the same Tucker Carlson who’s spent years cultivating a brand of divisive commentary that makes your family group chat seem like a utopia of polite discourse.

Now, he’s apparently transitioning to the world of network  television with a deal reportedly so lucrative it makes Kimmel’s paychecks look like lunch money.

Carlson, who left his previous gig at Fox News amid a hailstorm of controversies (because, of course), has now landed squarely in the world of late-night entertainment.

ABC has promised that the rebranded show will bring “a bold new perspective” to the time slot—because what America really needed was less humor and more political rants at 11:35 PM.

ABC’s decision to shift late-night TV from comedy to political monologues is all about ratings. The network seems to think audiences prefer tension over lighthearted jokes.

Critics call the move absurd, arguing that late-night should unite viewers, not deepen divides. But ABC appears to be betting on a future where comedy takes a backseat to pointed political commentary.

Carlson is thrilled, calling it a chance to discuss “real issues.” Translation: Get ready for nightly rants turning harmless topics into doomsday predictions. Meanwhile, Kimmel may start a podcast—because in 2025, the last safe place for jokes might be Spotify.

Buckle up, America. Late-night TV is about to get a lot less funny—and a lot more… Tucker.

President Biden criticized Israel’s handling of the Hamas war, calling it a “mistake” and pushing for a six-to-eight week cease-fire. His remarks follow the Israeli strike that killed seven aid workers, including an American, increasing pressure on Netanyahu to change course.

Biden urged immediate humanitarian aid, emphasizing that regional allies are ready to assist. The White House reiterated that any cease-fire must include a hostage deal, but negotiations remain stalled.

Despite Biden’s warnings, Israel quickly opened key crossings for aid, though the timeline for further action—especially ahead of a Rafah invasion—remains unclear. The U.S. response, if Israel doesn’t comply, is even murkier.